Ugh, yet another weird green drink on Instagram.
So unless you’ve been offline or doing a social media detox lately, chances are you’ve heard about this #30DayCeleryChallenge trend going around.
In the past few years Celery Juice has gone from being one of Gwyneth Paltrow’s weird eating habits, to literally changing the way our society functions, creating such a significant impact that it simply cannot be ignored anymore.
Right now, millions of people around the world are suffering from sleep deprivation due to their psycho neighbors juicing bunches of celery at 6am while practicing their mantras.
What used to be early mornings at Juice Generation, is now considered a dirty habit of “unclean juices” as opposed to the pure, undiluted, liquid celery.
You might try desperately to stay away from it all, to ignore the trend as you wait for it to slowly die out, yet you can’t even hop onto Aimee Song’s Insta story without hearing about how she brought her god damn juicer to Paris, specifically to continue her celery challenge abroad.
I mean, apparently this stuff is going to heal your life, cleanse your soul, and turn you into Ghandi – and all that, in less than a week – so I guess it’s worth some research.
Well, in case you’re wondering why everyone suddenly is obsessed with celery, and how you can cash in on the magical benefits of yet another green instagram drink, here’s everything you need to know about why we’re doing this, what to expect, which juicers to use, and everything else.
The Celery Challenge That Will Change Your Life
Before we begin, let’s talk about who’s to blame for this celery movement.
Basically some dude named Anthony William wrote a book where he preaches about celery juice, people drank it and were healed from chronic illnesses, he made it into a challenge, and here we are.
This whole trend has been named “The Birth of a Healing Movement”, yet somehow ended up being an Instagram challenge, because if you didn’t post about it, did you even do it?
The challenge consists of drinking 16 ounces of pure celery juice first thing in the morning, every single day for 30 days, which apparently is going to be life changing.
Note: If you have a chronic illness to heal, then you can bump that up to 24-32 ounces.
Why The Fuck Are We Doing This
Now, I’m not going to list all of the nutrients in celery because it’s not that interesting and obviously it’s healthy, but it’s worth mentioning that the reason celery is winning the juicing game, is because it contains sodium cluster salts.
These salts are known for fighting off bacteria and pathogens, including those responsible for auto-immune diseases.
Cluster salts also neutralize toxins, and we all know toxins have a tendency to escalate any symptom or illness, so we’re obviously all pro-neutralization here.
In addition to this they restore hydrochloric acid over time and help the liver produce bile, which means your digestion is going to have a serious glow up.
I know that digestion is gross to talk about, but it’s insanely important in regards to healthy immune system and regeneration of cells, which means it’s going to improve everything from your skin to your ability to deal with hangovers.
Obviously there are a lot more benefits to celery than just the whole cluster salt situation, so here are just a few of them so you get the idea:
Balances body PH, restores nervous system, detoxifies liver, balances cholesterol, cleanses digestive tract, prevents formation of kidney stones, curbs cravings for sweets, anti-inflammatory, anti-fungal, anti-tumor effects, etc…
As you can see, two of the most relevant benefits for us overachieving, workaholic millennials is that you’ll be
1. Detoxifying your liver which is essential for anyone who regularly consumes alcohol (all of us?)
2. Balancing body PH, which again is insanely important to make up for the small stuff, like our psychotic coffee habits
How Much Celery Is Too Much Celery
If you’re like me and always take things too far (#overachiever) it’s also worth noting the effects of drinking too much celery juice.
So if you go all in and start inhaling a venti celery juice five times a day, then you could end up with:
Gastrointestinal problems due to the significant impact on the digestive system and liver,
Pesticide overdose (seriously recommend sticking to organic celery)
Iodine deficiency which in most cases leads to goiters (google it, it’s gross)
So yeah. Don’t abuse celery juice, just stick to the 16 ounces.
Preparations: Finding The Right Juicer
The whole process of making this green magic juice is insanely self explanatory for anyone with a juicer, but I’m going to explain it anyway because I love stating the obvious.
For optimal celery juicing experience, you’d do better with using a Masticating Juicer, which means that instead of using a blade, the juicer will just crush the living shit out of the contents until you have juice.
These juicers will give you a high quality, thicker juice, that can also last for 1-2 days as it will not oxidize as fast. So with these juicers you can actually make the juice ahead of time and not have to be that annoying person waking everyone up.
How One Juices: A Step-By-Step Guide, By Me
Step 1: Get a bunch of celery. For 16 ounces, one large bunch is usually enough.
Step 2: Chop it up
Step 3: Put celery into juicer
Step 4: Add a splash of water, but not more than a splash, or you risk ending up with a “diluted juice” which is not allowed.
Step 5: Drink the 16 ounces first thing in the morning, and wait 15-30 minutes before consuming anything else, so that it has time to pass through your system without being bothered.
I feel like this is a good time to point out the fact that celery juice is insanely bitter, but unfortunately if you can’t handle the taste, you can’t handle the challenge.
Basically you’re not supposed to dilute it, add herbs, sneak some lemon juice in there to make it more palatable, as they claim that any “mixture” or “blend” will ruin everthing.
The juice has to be pure, clean and undiluted, or you will end up with completely different different benefits, which means all of this work and research was for nothing.
Keep it clean, guys.
Feel free to share your celery juice experiences in the comments below, because I’m curious AF.
Was it life changing?
Did it make you a better person?
Do you miss Juice Generation?